First reflection 3 weeks into new job.

It has now been 3 weeks since I have moved to a new job. Quite a lot of time to reflect. I have moved to a new role but not all new business or people. I am lucky enough to be part of a great team, some of the people I have known for many years. It was definitely an easier decision to made and not as scary. Still, I was worried how will I fit in. I was leaving a job where I was regarded as an expert and had a clear path. I knew the company, knew people, knew process and knew what was expected of me.  

Here, I am still new. I am getting to know the process and product. I am still trying to fit in and settle down. I am wondering, where can I bring the advantage to the business. The role is all new to me, I am learning a lot. But the biggest lesson so far, was that I can go to work and not feel pressure or be stressed all the time.

My previous role gave me a lot of satisfaction. I have learned so much, I have grown and moved through the ranks very quickly. It has proven to me, that in a right company, a hard-working person can make a career and be recognised. Financial reward followed as well. For a little too long though, I was neglecting my home and personal life, and the frequently spoken of work-life balance, was indeed OUT of balance.

One of the reasons for change in a professional career, was to find that balance again. Since the idea has grown in my head to travel long term, I was taking all the steps in making this dream come true. One of them was to wind down and utilise my skills elsewhere, before bringing my career to complete halt for a year or two.

So far, the feeling is still new to me. My body is almost resisting the change and missing the challenge. I still long to know what is happening with my old team, how are they getting on, have they achieved all the deadlines, who else left or joined the business in those 3 weeks. It was such fast-paced environment, I had to be able to juggle many tasks at once but it also gave me a lot of satisfaction from completing them in time.

I am now allowed to slowly get into a routine. I get proper lunch break and one of the new routines is Friday lunch with everyone at pub next door. I don’t have a team under me to manage and worry about. I am not receiving up to 300 emails per day to juggle. My phone stays silent most of the day. I feel almost like on a different planet. Is this even possible, do jobs like this exist?

Few times it crossed my mind that maybe I am not right for this role, have they made a mistake? Do I have right technical knowledge? Or maybe I should have taken the other opportunity that was knocking on my door at similar time – trainee finance director? I quickly got rid of those thoughts and reminded myself of the MAIN reasons behind my decision for change. And that was, to for a change focus on myself and what is good for me, not the business, not the team, not anyone else but me.

I decided that in 2020 I will be taking a break, following my dream to travel the world (or at least to start with travelling round South East Asia), volunteering, focusing on growing my blog and video blog, growing my photography skills and writing a novel. That is a lot of plans for one person. But I have a lot of years to catch up on. Since I moved to UK all I have been doing was chasing a dream. Only lately though I realised it was not my dream. To have a stable and comfortable life, not worry about the money, having nice material things. Of course, when I was younger, I wanted all this, but the older I got and the more growing up I did, I learned that those things don’t bring true happiness.

We are all on the personal journey. We have different goals and dreams. I wonder sometimes though, how many of you don’t realise what your dreams are. It has taken a lot of different events for the seed to be planted in my head and finally started to realise what it is that I am made of and what I want to become.

First time in years I can say I feel truly happy. Happy about the present and happy for what is coming. I can even say I am happy for all my past experiences, as they led me to where I am now. There is no negative experiences, because I am prime example that the negativity can turn into positivity. It just takes time.

For now, I am very happy that I took the step aside. Took on a new role to which I am committed giving my all between 9-5 😉, and in the meantime planning on my next big adventure. There is a lot to plan, but it will be so much easier doing it knowing, that I can “breathe” calm.




Malwina BartosiakComment