Personal goals - blogging month 1

It has been exactly 21 days since I launched my blog online. 3 weeks passed. I was buzzing with excitement, when I first pressed the publish button and my website appeared online. I received so much positive feedback - from friends and family. It was reassuring, that all the work I have put into the website design and writing the content, have paid off. I have set myself a personal goal of reaching 500 hits from unique visitors in my 1st month. Someone might ask what is 500 hits, especially in today’s world of YouTube and Instagram stars, where followers count is going into hundreds of thousand, or even millions! After reading many blogs about travel, lifestyle and those giving a clue on how to start to make a living as a digital nomad, I learned the benchmark to aim for, would be of at least 30-40,000 visitors each month. That is a lot. Although one thing to remember, these people have been doing this work for 6,7,8 years or longer.

I have been doing it for less than a month, so I thought to reach a nice, round 500 mark on my first monthly anniversary, would be a great personal achievement. I am so happy, as I already got there, and it has not even been a month yet. That means, I can continue to keep my focus on writing. That is after all, what this is all about. Numbers will come later, I am sure. With enough passion and work put into it, continued development and ideas. I hope people will appreciate what I have to say. I hope YOU find my notes engaging, funny, honest and relatable. That there will be something for everyone here. And I hope, the notes that you read, express at least some of your inner thoughts or feelings.

Honesty is one of the most important values for me. I think, it got me to where I am in life. Both positive and negative experiences in my short life, have been impacted by honesty. Mine and others. I have been told by many, that I say what I think. But do I? I feel, like most of the time I am quite a reserved person. It does take me time to trust others and open up. I am very much an observer, I like to get to know people, feel what they are all about and what values and interests we share. All that, before I speak out honestly. Don’t get me wrong. It doesn’t mean I lie, but I think that honesty should come in small doses, especially to those that may not be able to take it. Probably including me 😊

Although my face doesn’t lie. So was I told. Apparently, my face is “betraying” me. Any time I feel disappointment, sadness, disgust, happiness, embarrassment it shows straight away. But I think, in those social encounters, we as human beings, should be able to hide certain emotions. Why does my body think otherwise? Is honesty so deeply embedded in me, that otherwise I would explode? Maybe that’s for the best, maybe I don’t have to try to be someone else. I see myself as a confident person, but truthfully would class myself as an introvert. Not someone who avoids people, but rather a person who feels more comfortable in small groups, or with people that I know, I don’t have to hold back with who I am.

Possibly, I am making up for the little words I share with the world, with the facial expressions. Those that know me, would probably say what crazy things is she writing now. She never shuts up! Little words? Ha! In one to one scenario, maybe max in group of 3-4 people, I can still find myself. Any bigger group, and I am starting to get confused. What am saying, what am I doing, who am I listening to, what is right or wrong to do/say. All those thoughts running through my head, will make my face do funny things. And this is my dear reader, when I think, I stop controlling the expression.  

All the years of living alone, working through issues and problems myself, supporting myself financially, spending time in my own company and travelling solo. Those circumstances, probably had an impact, in how I behave in interpersonal situations. Unfortunately, there have been times in my life, were people commented on what THEY believed, I thought at the time. Based purely on my face expression. How is that possible, unless they were mind readers? It made me feel uncomfortable. I felt at times, that I had to explain myself. Where there was nothing more, than a “lazy” face expression. I laugh sometimes and say, that I am miserable on the outside and lovable on the inside. My face has the mind of its own, that’s all. So, if you ever meet me, try to avoid the body language analysis 😊

That is the quality of introverts. We are not easy people to understand. I think my blog has been helping me, to show my real side to the outside world. That I have a voice and a lot of feelings inside. It is a journey for me. The happy soul of Mal, constant joker, but also a girl with a lot of worries and insecurities, my life is changing. Last few years have been a journey. There is more to say about the changes that happened in me. And that is the honesty I am talking about.

It is very liberating being able to say this – not necessarily what I think, but more importantly how I FEEL. For too long I was mis-understood and had to explain myself. But now I can express my voice through the blog. I hope that my honesty can inspire you to rethink what your inner voice is telling you, and what is your face showing to others.

Thank you to all those 500 visitors and to the new ones that will hopefully be making their way to my website. I welcome you, thank you for the support and encourage to get in touch with me, share your feelings and thoughts, comment on my notes, tell me what you enjoy reading about.

Have a fantastic day!