Trip Down Memory Lane.


Trip Down Memory Lane…

and who will always have a special place in my heart!

“Memory never lies, but it does not always tell the truth.”

― Lamine Pearlheart


I have been archiving and tidying thousands of photos over last couple of weeks. Going down memory lane, I came across photos from friends’ weddings, family events, holidays, parties and …few of my ex’s. Interestingly, I have not remembered some of them. If you asked me now, I wouldn’t have known all of their names. Wow how embarrassing, I know. But it is really not my fault, I just have very short memory. Or maybe I try and erase some bad memories as I go along (hhmmm?). Thankfully, I was almost as organised back then as I am now, and got most of the photos and folders labelled. Ok I feel like I am digging a hole here, and getting deeper and deeper in it. If any of my exes are reading this, please note, I don’t talk about you – just those few, not important, casual encounters – but certainly not YOU 😉

The one thing I can happily admit though, is how much pleasure it gave me to look through those folders. Big surprise, but there were so many good and joyful memories. In few cases, I couldn’t remember what has gone wrong between us? All those guys, had something good about them, we looked happy on the photos. Going through these, I started wondering, where are they now, what have their lives turned out to be? Are they with someone? Are they happy? Could we have been happy, if we stuck together? A lot of what ifs.

The power of photography, is that it captures moments. And I do not think most of us ever think of taking pictures, when something bad happens such as argument, fall out, break up. That I would say, is usually reserved for the newspapers – to capture tragedies and report through the media. Day to day life, I can’t see us walking round and taking selfie just after we broke up with a partner or a date has gone terribly wrong. That is usually a very intimate, vulnerable moment that is kept private.

I think mind is so powerful, but it likes to play tricks on us. Photography will keep the moments alive. We either forget about people, or are even able to falsify some of the past memories, to suit our present. This is not always happening on purpose. This is our mind making sure, we can actually live happy lives and some of the less important memories, get stored in different parts of brain. I have read a book recently, about the brain and how it operates. Very interesting. After all, our thoughts, emotions and feelings, all come from the movements and neuron connections of information in our brain. And there is nothing we can do to change it. Yes, you can train your brain to be able to access certain information with more ease, but day to day lives now involved so much “data” coming at us from all angles – tv, internet, papers, conversations with people in shops, working, emails, speaking to customers, checking post and so on. Can you imagine even trying to remember every single piece of that information, from every day in week, month, year? That would be tricky, impossible even.

It is as tricky for me, since I have met and dated many guys. After all I am your dating guru right, experience comes from numbers and real-life examples! There were plentiful of them. I just can’t remember them all…but going back to memories of once loved ones. I am glad I have the ability to look at those pictures and get back in the happy place, I once was with that particular person. After all, they all brought something good in my life. A life lesson if nothing else. A lesson on who I am, or what I want in life. The power of forgiveness is great too. How someone who once broke my heart, treated me badly, ghosted, left without a word or cheated – can suddenly have a place in my mind, together with other happy memories? Because there is no point to get stuck in dark place. Of course, it was not all that bad and dramatic. Sometimes we just were not right for each other. Best to clarify, in case someone thinks I am not fair on poor male population.

I personally, am very emotional person. State of elation can come over me, as quickly, as drowning in sorrows. Thankfully, both pass equally quick, so meeting new men is not usually an issue, when I want to, or feel like it’s time to go out there again. But this is why, and I admit it, I can go wild at the early stages of relationship. The excitement and ecstatic behaviours. Fed by our good, old brain. If you were to listen to some scientists, they compare state of falling in love, to taking crack cocaine! Wow, wow, wow! I swear I never tried that, neither do I want to, but is this really such powerful, intense, highly pleasurable state that we can’t live without it? Is this the reason, I quickly forget the sad moments but remember the good times?

Further question comes to mind. How is it, we lose contact with those we once loved? Looking at the photo of guy number 1, guy number 2, guy number 45 and so on. This is how I remember it now, but the more I think about the events, the more realness is coming back to me. Not just with the “lovely” exes. It made me think about other people in my life. Some of them – unforgettable.

For example, I came across pictures of my grandad. I literally teared up. It’s been 2.5 years since he passed away. Another cancer victim. No, correction. He was not a victim. He was a strong, proud, intelligent, hard working man! One of my biggest loves, and he will remain in my heart and mind forever. This is one of those memories, that will never pass, in comparison, to not so important date here and there. Looking at pictures I have of him (he did not like to be photographed, and certainly would not be an Instagram king), I feel like I just seen him yesterday, maybe a week ago. I miss him every day, but I also remember and think of him every day. Especially through the photographs of him, that are around my house and in my purse.

Another highlight of going through old photographs, seeing the snaps from 5, 10, 15 years ago and even longer. Seeing my school friends, my cousins when they were still children, my friends as young and free souls, some with certainly questionable fashion choices (ahh good old 90’s and 00’s), my parents still holidaying together, my grandparents still energetic...

Going down memory lane is fantastic. If you are ever down, or bored, or sick of the usual evening in front of TV – I really recommend you sit down, try archive and organise your photos. Whether they are prints in old albums or thousands of holiday snaps on countless memory sticks. It is so much fun, joy and brings a smile to face, maybe tear as well if you come across those, who are no longer here. Maybe excitement seeing your ex, that had a special place in your heart, maybe your child when they were still a bundle of joy and happy to give you lots of hugs and kisses, before it became too embarrassing.

Whichever scenario, when looking through those photos, try and keep going through your memories, train your mind, attempt to remember places and names of people. Carry on keeping the relationships alive, even if only between you and your mind.