Love Has No Age Limit.
Love Has No Age Limit…
…be true to your beliefs and values!
I was very lucky this weekend. I met an amazing woman. I have attended an event during Derby’s Book Festival, and had this fabulous lady sat next to me. Since I do a lot on my own, I get the opportunity to meet new people, almost everywhere I go. Not sure, if I have mentioned it already, but there is really powerful feeling, in being able to do things as an individual. Whether you want to go and see a movie at the cinema, have dinner in a new restaurant or go to a cultural event. Don’t be afraid, try it and you will be surprised how much joy it brings. The ability to experience new things solo, but also option to meet new people. You might be amazed, to how many other people do it already.
Going back to my first point. I would like to say, I count myself lucky. My mind opened up, to the powerful message, that got passed over to me by this lady. Elderly woman, very well dressed, nicely done hair and makeup. I was astounded to learn, she was 78 years old! Basically, my grandmothers age, but what a difference. Not taking any glory from my beloved grandmother. She after all, comes from a country and era, where working hard and looking after others, before your own needs, was a meaning of life. Even nowadays, she will put family, our requests and feelings before her own. After many attempts, I am still unable to fully “empower” my grandmother”.
This lady though, was completely different. At 78 years old, she looked at least 10 years younger. I am not sure what it is about me, that people open up like during confession. I must have a trustworthy face and sending good vibes to the world. We did not exchange names, but that was not necessary. We both knew, this conversation was a one off, and we probably would never meet again. I enjoyed talking to her. She had this positive attitude and clear passion for life. Like me, she has purchased tickets to few of the events, during Book Festival.
One of her big passions, was reading, she told me. At age of 68, so 10 years ago she joined a book club with group of ladies. Not your usual, housewife’s, sipping prosecco while chatting about next sex adventure of Mr Grey type of club. But a serious “establishment”. Where each time they read a new book, they themselves, had to write an essay up to 20 pages long, discussing that book, the opinion on the story and so on. How fantastic to be able to still be creative, better yourself and continue learning, no matter the age!
My note was not going to be about the books and writing essays though. The more important message this lady has shared with me, was that LOVE has no age limit. Not directly, but the story she shared with me, had a clear meaning to me. She was a widow. Her husband passed away 37 years ago! She has been living alone ever since. Or up until recently. Believe it or not, she shared with me her newly found love story. Norwegian. Yes, she met a man from Norway. He’s 81 years old. A true gentleman she says. A man of proper manners, values, well spoken and dressed immaculately.
She was glowing talking about this man. How wonderful he sounded. Almost as charming as Clarke Gable or Cary Grant, staring at me from the TV screen. One more very important thing about this man. Correction, she told me it was the most important thing to her. His values. This was the man of his word. For few years they only shared friendship. They were talking and writing. Exchanging valuable and cultural conversation. More importantly support during difficult times. All this because Norwegian man’s wife, has suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. This man, has been caring for his wife for 10 years, until she passed. He has made a vow when marrying, to love and to cherish (…) in sickness and health. And he stood by it. That is, what you can unquestionably call values.
Did she look for anyone? No. Has she thought she would get attached to another man? No. Did she need it at this stage in life? Probably not. But she has opened up to a possibility of love. No matter the age. I didn’t need to know any more details. It was irrelevant, whether this gentleman lived in Norway, UK, Derby or anywhere else. Whether they planned to live together. And if they talk over the phone, emails or exchanging letters. None of it mattered to me. What mattered, was that you just don’t know, when and where you can meet a good soul. Could I risk a statement, that friendship is higher form of love in the relationship? After all they will not be franticly looking for the excitement, that younger generation is nourishing of when dating.
The values this man presented, were more important to this lady, than anything else. She told me, if he tried to become romantic with her in any way, while his wife was still alive, she would not have respected him. But he never did. He was committed to his wife, and all ever wanted at the time, was some compassion and conversation. Support from another soul, while his beloved wife, no longer understood the love he had for her. That man grew to the point of a somewhat hero, in this ladies’ eyes.
I feel now, writing about this story, like I am reading a story out of the book. But it is real life. Love has no limits, and certainly not age limit. Love is not just passion or physical attraction. Love is respect, connection, shared values, support. I see it, as giving to the other person, not claiming as more people want to do these days. It’s more about taking than giving. But it is not an exchange transaction. Allow freedom for the other person. Love comes in different shapes and forms. It is very possible this “duo”, was already loving each other, but they would not cross the line, by breaking original vow that man made to his wife.
I am a little envious of them. Their example shows a greater purpose, of why we need other people in our lives. It has proven to me, that the love comes from the things we share in life like morals, interests, views and beliefs. That friendships are important factor in building any relationship. But also, the confidence, that we don’t require the other person to fulfil us. More of, us wanting to make something good for the other person. Without waiting for anything in exchange.
I hope, the years they have left ahead of them, they will spend in the way that suits them best and makes them happiest. I hope, that I will be able to share a similar story one day, with a young girl sitting next to me at a cultural event. The girl, that may be questioning what today’s world came to and that the emotions are no longer recognised. Only what is visible to the eye, not the heart.
“One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.”
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry